‘No Soul Left Behind’ Excerpt: The End is Nigh…Finally!

nslb-zombie1A PDF proof has been released to backers of the No Soul Left Behind Kickstarter. If you didn’t back the Kickstarter, you’ll have to wait a little longer to get your claws on it. In the meantime, enjoy this excerpt from the fourth adventure in the campaign, originally playtested on the RPPR Actual Play podcast:

In the middle of the day, panic strikes the school. Students run towards their friends waving cell phones in flagrant violation of the rules. Teachers stop class to watch the news. Sobbing can be heard somewhere in the distance. What’s going on? Has the president been attacked? Is Triskaideka back somehow?

The local news can be heard from nearly every classroom or wireless device. Interrupting all broadcasts, reporter Ramble Turdukain delivers the breaking news while standing in front of a country cemetery:

“Thank you, Kathy. I stand here in front of the Ratford Flats Cemetery, just outside the Kirby suburbs in Lee County. As you can see behind me, the graves appear to have been disturbed sometime in the night. In fact, as far as this reporter can tell, many of the graves in this 14-acre property have been disturbed, and as you can see from the shots here, it appears that at least some of the corpses are missing. More alarming than this extreme act of vandalism is the recent discovery of Hiram Allen, head groundskeeper of Ratford Flats, whose call had us send a news van out to see this grisly sight. Hiram, can you describe your actions after discovering the devastation this morning?”

A scruffy looking gentlemen covered in dirt with a waist-length beard steps in front of the microphone:

“Um…yes, sir. I came in today to clear off some of the rotted flowers and find all the graves dug up. I still had the backhoe gassed up from yesterday and I cleared out one of the worst ones, just to see what was done. And…well…I know this sounds crazy but the coffin’s still down there. It’s broke right through the walnut see, which would be a da…darn sight of work. And them splinters what is bent outwards and covered in cloth, well there ain’t no way that hole was made from the outside.”

Turdukain chimes back in, “And did you say the corpses were missing?”

“Yes, sir”

“Can you tell the audience what you told me earlier, Hiram?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, we got us gravediggers union and I know a bunch of the groundskeepers from Kirby. They was telling me at poker night that a bunch of them had vandalism too, but they weren’t supposed to report anything to families yet or say nothing to the news cause it was an ongoing investigation. Police orders, they said. I thought it sounded a bit fruity to me, but here ya go.” “Hiram, can you say what made you call us instead of the police, like your friends?”

“I’da…I’da rather not.”

“It’s okay, Hiram. Remember, the people have a right to know.”

Hiram Allen stares directly into the camera, sighs, and says, “Well, it’s obviously zombies.”

Though the screams that erupt from the watching student body are certainly varied, they could be generally characterized as “AWESOME!!!”