{"id":1262,"date":"2012-09-18T13:07:47","date_gmt":"2012-09-18T20:07:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/?p=1262"},"modified":"2013-05-30T10:59:54","modified_gmt":"2013-05-30T17:59:54","slug":"better-angels-soul-catcher-in-the-rye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/2012\/09\/better-angels-soul-catcher-in-the-rye\/","title":{"rendered":"Better Angels: Soul-Catcher in the Rye"},"content":{"rendered":"

We are proud to present “Soul-Catcher in the Rye,” a short story for <\/em>Better Angels, as our ‘thank you’ to supporters of the <\/em>Better Angels<\/a> fundraiser at Kickstarter<\/a>. <\/em>Better Angels,\u00a0the roleplaying game of supervillainy, is now available in PDF<\/a> and will be shipping soon in a full-color hardcover<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Soul-Catcher in the Rye<\/h2>\n

By Greg Stolze, \u00a9 2012<\/em><\/p>\n

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like and all that Tom Riddle Voldemort kind of crap. The origin story. How I wound up standing on a table in a high school cafeteria screaming \u201cBloodskull the Soul-Catcher craves your innocent blood!<\/em>\u201d but honestly, I don\u2019t feel like it right now. D\u2019Nice thinks we should split up and all I\u2019ve done all morning is lie in bed re-reading my old Tom Strong<\/em> trades. Haven\u2019t even wanted to tug one out in the shower.<\/p>\n

I guess it all started when Ryan Wouk killed himself. I mean, it\u2019s always a big hairy thing when a teenager dies. All kinds of parental hand-wringing and stuffy op-eds on the local news. If Ryan had been a loser like me, I don\u2019t know, maybe there\u2019d be some kind of big social media push and they\u2019d find some \u2018cyber-bully\u2019 to pin it on, but Ryan wasn\u2019t a loser. He was one of those \u2018world-on-a-plate\u2019 kinds of guys, got good grades and sang in the show choir and played that thing with the sticks. Lacrosse. The game we stole from the Indians. Native Americans, I mean.<\/p>\n

He was good-looking. I mean, I don\u2019t swing for that team, not that there\u2019s anything wrong with that preference. I\u2019m not a Chik-Fil-A diner, is what I\u2019m saying. But you\u2019d have to be blind to miss Ryan\u2019s tousled honey-colored hair and even white teeth and perfectly proportioned jock body. Even if I hadn\u2019t ever looked at<\/em> him, I\u2019d have known from observing the way the girls all got giggly and fluttery when he walked by and said something friendly and nice to them.<\/p>\n

Because get this: Ryan was always friendly and nice. Didn\u2019t matter who you were. Grimy underfed poor kid? He\u2019d fist-bump you in gym class after a rare soccer goal. Asshole no-neck bully? Ryan would talk those guys down<\/em> from picking on the slender and asthmatic. One time, in art class, he even said something I was sketching was \u2018epic.\u2019<\/p>\n

It was a picture of Malagdun.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

So, yeah, Malagdun\u2019s my demon. Malagdun the Iniquitous, Catcher of Souls, Archduke of the Seventh Circle of Hell. That\u2019s what he<\/em> says anyhow. He could be lying. He says all kinds of stuff.<\/p>\n

My thinking is, if he\u2019s an Archduke (which, according to Wikipedia, is only three or four levels under a king<\/em>), he\u2019d have more of the mind control powers or super-intellect. But all he can do is beat people. I figure he was the equivalent of a tank in their hell-war. He\u2019s always trying to get me to act like a douchebag to people but he\u2019s not even smart.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s what makes me a supervillain. I\u2019m kind of obligated. As long as the two of us are together (and I think I\u2019m stuck with him; it\u2019s\u2026 complicated) there\u2019s the risk that he\u2019s going to turn into the balrog from Fellowship of the Ring. <\/em>For real, he can do that, he says it was \u2018probably based on him.\u2019 Sure, Malagdun. I bet you and Peter Jackson are tight peeps. But unless I want him to become fifteen feet tall and covered in fire, I need to stay on his good side.<\/p>\n

He did it once, just pulled his fire-hulk routine when we were on a college visit<\/em>. Yeah. My older sister was checking out this school, really nice, not a huge science-fictiony learning city<\/em> the way all those huge state schools are. It was little and had ivy on everything and you\u2019d turn a corner and there\u2019d be an old statue. Not trying to look old without putting up with the business of being old, but real oldness \u2014 the features weathering off and mildew on the base. Genuine, you know? And I was thinking how great it would be to go there, I\u2019d been keeping Malagdun down, hadn\u2019t talked to him in a while, hadn\u2019t put on the armor and done\u2026 you know, anything. I was thinking I might have actually moved on. As if demonic possession is a phase<\/em>, like your voice changing or bad acne. I was thinking I was over it and could get my grades together, maybe save up from a summer job, even take a year off after graduation to work, live at home, stick everything in the bank. I was thinking all that stuff.<\/p>\n

Then came the boom.<\/p>\n

We were on our way to the library, I think, I can\u2019t remember. One second I\u2019m slouching along behind the family, half-thinking about how I might meet some college girl with a funky hairdo and a cropped army jacket like I saw at a gig on the river front one time. Next second? BAM. I\u2019m eye to eye with the second floor and everything looks red.<\/p>\n

I hath return\u00e9d, mortal. Didst miss my sage counsel and hale friendship?<\/strong><\/p>\n

No one else heard that one. Malagdun spoke only in my head, which is good, because I\u2019d be blushing all the time if people heard his crazy olde tyme Englande verb tenses and weird emphasis on words like \u201creturned.\u201d I just said \u201cAuugh!\u201d because I was surprised, and frustrated, but when you\u2019ve got lungs the size of sleeping bags, I guess that\u2019s a lot more intense. So, yeah, some windows broke.<\/p>\n

Thou hast neglected thy immortal counselor, and our separation woundeth me. Mine effort was great, but I have forg\u00e9d a plan, to gird thy life and mine own ageless span. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I turned and ran. No way did I want my parents and sister at ground zero for a Malagdun hissy fit.<\/p>\n

\u201cScrew you, you giant douche!\u201d I shouted. I\u2019ve never gotten the hang of talking to him inside my head, and I don\u2019t really want to. I mean, what if he started reading my mind?<\/p>\n

Ah, it gladdens my heart to hear you make such jolly sport with me, much as you make mock with your friend Jeffrey and do call him \u2018fag\u2019 and \u2018retard.\u2019 I know that thou in insults thus do cloak thy warm regard.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI mean it, man!\u201d<\/p>\n

…and then the campus security officers arrived and I decided to armor up. Even without Malagdun being huge and burning (and, at this point, I should mention that I\u2019d managed to leave singed footprints all across the quad, and students were running and screaming, even though classes weren\u2019t even in session yet), I can put this kind of grody shell around myself. It looks like snot but will stop a bullet. Of course, it also smells raunchy and leaves a slime trail and, as it turns out, that goo is flammable. So now I was running across campus with these, what, seven- or ten-foot strides, spattering burning residue on everything.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what those campus security dudes saw, a fifteen foot mucus-man, on fire, running at them. They didn\u2019t have guns or anything, they were campus security<\/em>. So they turned tail, and Malagdun laughed, and then I tripped over a bench, pretty much exploding it.<\/p>\n

Ah, what merry japes we share! Let us carve yon comely buxom maiden\u2019s parts in four, that we may delight in her cries and those of her lusty paramour!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNo way, jerk!\u201d<\/p>\n

Thou toyest with me. For too long I abided in darkness while you ignor\u00e9d me \u2014 me<\/em>, who has always been thy helpmeet for vengeance and what thou callst \u2018the lulz.\u2019 <\/strong><\/p>\n

See, the thing is, I had a really lousy time freshman year, and Malagdun and I sort of\u2026 acted out a little bit.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m done with you!\u201d<\/p>\n

But I am nowhere near spent in my commerce with thee.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone! Turn off the fire, let it go!\u201d<\/p>\n

Nay.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The cops showed up then, so I started running again. More fiery splatter, of course. Couple of gunshots in the back, but nothing I really felt.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, how about if I\u2026 you know my family is on campus, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ah yes, thy dam and patriarch and ruddy-cheeked sister Justine. The amusement that I take from them is particularly keen. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave them alone!\u201d<\/p>\n

I try, but when I wit not thy movements, how am I to know the time for a manifestation is inopportune?<\/strong><\/p>\n

By this point the SWAT team had showed up and I was climbing the side of the big main building. Did you ever climb on a cardboard box when you were a kid? How it holds you up mostly<\/em> but also crumples and tears beneath you? That\u2019s what it felt like getting to the top.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, I\u2019ll talk to you more, will that help? Will that be okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018Tis all I desire, for the nonce. Oh, and that thou cast down the sign of that crucifi\u00e9d fool.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The building had, like, a little bell tower on top with a cross on the top, so I yanked that off and threw it into a cop car. That satisfied him. He let me turn back into me, I dropped through a hole in the roof and put off the shell and then hid until the cops showed up. Mom and dad made a huge deal out of me running off.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how \u201cBloodskull\u201d came out of retirement. I made a deal with Malagdun that I\u2019d talk to him at least once a day and that we\u2019d periodically\u2026 wreak havoc. At least I didn\u2019t have to put on a leotard \u2014 the gunky coating took care of \u2018costuming.\u2019 I robbed a liquor store, just like old times, and I skull-baked a couple of cop cars when they got too close. (I can sort of\u2026 make my skull fly out of my face, wreathed in fire and blood, to bite stuff. I mean, it\u2019s not like my brainpan really<\/em> leaves, because my head doesn\u2019t fall in, but, I guess it looks like my head gives birth to this bloody, fiery cranium that flies around clacking its teeth and lighting stuff on fire. People freak out. I mean, I know I would, right?)<\/p>\n

For a while it was pretty good, or at least all right. I had a summer job doing custodial and stock stuff at this big clothing discounter, and that\u2019s where I met D\u2019Nice. She had super-short hair and a labret and one time when we had to pick up a bunch of dresses when a rack collapsed, my arm brushed against hers and her skin was the smoothest thing I\u2019d ever, ever touched.<\/p>\n

What was fun with D\u2019Nice was that I finally had a chance to be generous. See, I\u2019d grabbed a pile of twenties out of those robberies (by summer\u2019s end, I\u2019d also knocked over a donut shop and a tanning salon) so I could take her out for coffee and pick up the tab without it being any kind of thing, and when a new horror movie came out I could get us opening night tickets and popcorn. She must have thought I was spending my salary, which was OK, and she paid sometimes<\/em>. In fact, once we started necking in those horror movies she insisted<\/em> on splitting all the bills. Fifty-fifty, straight down the middle.<\/p>\n

So I guess what I\u2019m trying to say is, D\u2019Nice is the coolest person I\u2019ve ever met. Except she thought Bloodskull was really great.<\/p>\n

You would figure I\u2019d then be really in,<\/em> right? I\u2019d reveal that I was the guy she admired (because she figured it was this big social rebellion fight-the-power scene after I started getting beat on by this superhero, Captain Stars, which was a big thing I don\u2019t really want to get into) and the lip-locking would escalate to the next level, right? Except that to show it to her and prove it, I\u2019d have to have Malagdun around, and no. I was not going to let him see her, talk about her, or know she existed.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

Ryan Wouk killed himself in his car. Duct-taped a hose to the exhaust and piped it into the cab. Actually, it was a truck. Steve Rossiter, his was the car. Steve was on the honor roll, his dad owned an auto dealership, and he killed himself just two weeks after Ryan. No note from either one. This was after school started up again, we were maybe two or three months into my junior year and I wasn\u2019t seeing so much of D\u2019Nice because she went to North while I went to West. But it turned out she knew Steve Rossiter because they competed against each other at forensics \u2014 like, debate and stuff.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Malagdun,\u201d I said, pulling into traffic. That\u2019s when I usually talked to him, when I was alone in the car.<\/p>\n

I perpetually attend, esteem\u00e9d host and friend.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, are Steve and Ryan in Hell now?\u201d<\/p>\n

I lack, at this moment, the resources to check.<\/strong> He sounded amused. Prick.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but it\u2019s the rule, right? You kill yourself, you get on the Hell express?\u201d<\/p>\n

To reject the gift of life itself is a spiteful insult to its Lord, <\/em><\/strong>he said, and if a thought could be a giggle, that one almost was.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but why is life such a great gift? Sometimes, life sucks. I mean, those guys must\u2019ve been pretty unhappy to\u2026 do it, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Indisputably so. But be not so quick to despise life when thou hast no taste of the alternatives.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do they always say? \u2018Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

That doth sound like an epigram to find favor with the wags and \u2018pop psychologists\u2019 of thy world. But if I may, what say\u2019st thou to a fire-soak\u00e9d rampage through the downtown?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cGive it a rest, Malagdun, I\u2019m on the way to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

But a proximate brush with deadly danger would surely give thy townfolkly brethren a keener appreciation for life! If \u2019tis not so, I misjudge human perversity.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cTuesday night, okay? We\u2019ll go out and\u2026 we\u2019ll do something Tuesday.\u201d<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

I tried to keep Fridays and Saturdays for D\u2019Nice, but sometimes one or the other of us wound up working. I think our manager didn\u2019t like it that we were paired up. I don\u2019t know if there was any spite involved in that, or if it was just that she figured two people dating would goof off and make lovey eyes at each other instead of swabbing out the toilets and checking the dressing rooms.<\/p>\n

Tuesday, I drove about a half-hour down the highway to another town on the river, one where they legalized riverboat gambling. Though, after all the negotiation, the \u2018boat\u2019 wound up being permanently moored in a concrete ditch, it never actually went anywhere. I\u2019d decided I was going to rip it off because Malagdun had been really restless since we beat on Captain Stars. (Again, not a thing I\u2019m proud of or want to talk about much. We had to team up with Multi-Beast from way out in Portland, she\u2019s a real sickie and it turned into a hostage situation; you can read about it in the papers. Not Bloodskull\u2019s finest hour. Even D\u2019Nice stopped talking about what a cool anti-authoritarian he was after that. I said I\u2019d told her so, which, in retrospect, wasn\u2019t smart at all.)<\/p>\n

Anyhow. The boat. I beslimed myself and swam out in the ditch-water, which was even dirtier than me<\/em> (although I was leaving a slick on the surface) and when I got to the boat I fire-skulled a hole in the side and climbed through. I figured I\u2019d come out in a hallway, having looked at the little map-diagram they had posted, but I must have misjudged because I wound up in a women\u2019s restroom. This woman, not really old, more like school-principal aged, had been drying her hands right by the wall I blew up, so she kind of caught on fire. Malagdun was pleased as punch at that, let me tell you. She was running around, her skirt in flames, while I was squeezing painfully through the hole in the wall. Screaming, of course. She was, I mean. Totally hysterical, couldn\u2019t figure out that the door opened inward, so I had to grab her and, like, try and dunk her in the toilet to put out the flames. But she was heavy and really freaking out, so what I did was, I blew up one of the crappers so that the water was all over the floor, threw her in the puddle, then smashed another one for good measure.<\/p>\n

Thou shouldst have let the beldame burn! A torch to light thy way to victory, and her screams an ode triumphal!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, shut up!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

And, even though I\u2019d been speaking to Malagdun, the old woman clamped her lips shut with a whimper. Small mercies.<\/p>\n

A couple of people with name tags and comfy shoes opened the door just as I was coming out. They shrieked and fled, so I followed them.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, you all know who I am. Make with the money and no one else gets hurt.\u201d <\/strong>But nobody was paying attention, everyone was stampeding towards the doors and I saw some jerk with an Affliction t-shirt elbow a tiny woman aside in the crush to get out.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey assholes, freeze!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

People are so stupid! They were too scared of me to do what I said, is that it? I mean, how is that even a survival trait?<\/p>\n

Affliction-shirt grabbed another woman by the hair and hauled her back out of the way, and how is it that he never managed to do violence on any of the dudes<\/em> in front of him, hm?<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t really think it through.<\/p>\n

I fire-skulled him.<\/p>\n

Now, in retrospect, that was too much, but what else could I do? Wade in there to punch him? I\u2019m not a strong puncher when I\u2019m not fifteen feet tall, and if I\u2019d done that, I would have gone through the roof, literally <\/em>through the roof, and everything would have gotten even crazier. More people hurt, more damage\u2026 even if I\u2019d gone forward without growing, it just would have made people more crazy and panicky and there\u2019d have been more tramplings.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow freeze!<\/em>\u201d I repeated, and they did. Except for the people who\u2019d caught fire or freaked out when the dead guy splashed them.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou there, blackjack dealer! Grab that guy and roll him, smother the flames, c\u2019mon! Yes, you, act right or I will blow you up.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

That got some action. And people started to bawl and plead and it sounded like livestock.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie, it\u2019s nice to have people pay attention, but the situation was in no way worth it.<\/p>\n

\u201cBring me the money, dammit! And the rest of you, proceed in a slow and orderly fashion<\/em> towards the exits. I see anyone pushing or jumping the queue, I will get mad and you don\u2019t want more of that!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

I could hear sirens out front, but people were coming forward with money and I had a canvas duffel bag for them to put it in while I got up on the boat\u2019s deck and saw all the cops surrounding it, even a police-boat on the river and a helicopter. What a scene. But a couple of skull-missiles at the boat and the chopper brushed them back, and the police sniper bullets didn\u2019t really do much to me.<\/p>\n

Slay them, my comrade! Slay them all! Let me garb thee in flame and glory, while thy bloodlust finds utter satisfaction!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cPipe down!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

But it was just as bad when he did. There I was, all alone against a whole police department, and I knew it would just get worse the longer I waited. I needed to get to a crowd, and there was one conveniently hustling rapidly away, the same gamblers I\u2019d driven out of the boat.<\/p>\n

A salvo of burning head-bones halted them and drove back the cops while I ran down the ramp from boat to shore. It was through a hail of bullets, of course, but that\u2019s par for the course. A few lucky shots actually bruised me, one on the throat and one right on the inside hinge of my hip and thigh. The crowd tried to flee, but I had them pinned against the shore and, true to form, they started leaping into the water (or pushing each other into it, same thing). A few more bolts of chattering cranial flame stopped the cops from forming a cordon around them, and I plowed into the crowd, got into the water with them, and turned off my disguise.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d hoped they would simply let poor innocent victims go<\/em>, but they\u2019d figured out that one of us had to be the bad guy. (I\u2019d dropped the canvas bag in the water, and this tall woman with bobbed hair pulled it out. They hustled her off alone, for \u2018enhanced interrogation,\u2019 I\u2019m sure.)<\/p>\n

Wouldst thou slip the bonds of these blue-clad buffoons?<\/strong> Malagdun asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I would,\u201d I muttered.<\/p>\n

You need but ask my assistance and I shalt instruct thee in the craft of evasion.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can do that?\u201d I was pretending to talk into my phone.<\/p>\n

I need thy plea for aid.<\/strong> He sounded unusually serious. They hadn\u2019t gotten my name yet, but it was only a matter of time, and I guess Malagdun didn\u2019t want me outed as Bloodskull any more than I did.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease help me,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n

Attend thee, then. Affix thy gaze upon yon bleach-blonde waif in the peach-color\u00e9d tunic. Her spirit is nigh unto the breaking point.<\/strong><\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t look that freaked out to me. I mean, all of us were pretty shaken, and being told we were suspects certainly wasn\u2019t cheering anyone up. But just then, she started shaking and then weeping and then screaming<\/em>, really raw loud howling about how she just wanted to go home, couldn\u2019t they leave her alone, couldn\u2019t they see she wasn\u2019t any kind of supervillain\u2026<\/p>\n

Three cops closed in on her, blankets in hand. To \u2018comfort\u2019 her, I guess.<\/p>\n

With gentle step, move along the fence, to where the uncut weeds rise tall.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I did.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Wait, and slowly crouch.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Again, I obeyed. On his advice, I stayed there, down behind the grass against the fence, for a half hour, while the victims\/suspects were herded into a paddy wagon and driven off. He made me wait another half hour before slipping under the fence and walking back to my car. By that time, it was full-on dark.<\/p>\n

Mom was really pissed when I got home late. I said I\u2019d been at the library, and that my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the car. I don\u2019t think she bought it.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

Jessica Nock was the third kid at my high school to kill herself with carbon monoxide. She left a note. Well, actually, she left a thing on her blog, and I read a screencap after her parents took it down. She didn\u2019t talk about Ryan or Steve, but she did mention Bloodskull and how random and crazy the world was. She was another smart kid, National Honor Society and student council and she mentioned how all she ever did was try and try and keep everything under control, but how it never worked and everything just got worse and worse. She said her parents and family shouldn\u2019t blame themselves, that the only one to blame was her for being too weak to hack it.<\/p>\n

I knew Jessica from back in junior high. Well, not so much \u2018knew\u2019 her as, \u2018had a huge crush on her after she sat next to me in math class in adorable little skirts and tank tops.\u2019 We never really talked or anything. I hadn\u2019t known she was at risk.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ever think about killing yourself?\u201d I asked D\u2019Nice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!?\u201d she pulled away from me and glared. We\u2019d gone to see one of those fake-handheld horror movies, and on the drive home we\u2019d pulled over to sit in the back of her truck and look at the stars. \u201cWhat\u2019re you saying, you think I\u2019m some kind of weak-ass, easy-way-out bitch-chump?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t get mad! Jeez, I just wondered.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would never<\/em> do that. My life gets hard, I take it out on my problems<\/em>, not on myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood attitude,\u201d I said, pulling myself back over to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re damn skippy,\u201d she grumbled.<\/p>\n

I kissed her, and we kissed each other for a bit, and I put my hand on her stomach under her shirt and moved it up, but she shoved it back down again. Then she held my hand, to make it more okay.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s three kids now,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I heard about that. You\u2019re<\/em> not thinking about doing anything that dumb, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Hey, I got everything to live for.\u201d Another kiss, another hand shift-and-shove.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy d\u2019you suppose they did it?\u201d she said, after a while, looking up at the sky.<\/p>\n

\u201cDunno.\u201d<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

After I dropped her off, I asked Malagdun the same thing.<\/p>\n

Humans are easily led,<\/strong> he told me. What one doth, soon others follow, howe\u2019er fool the deed, if the first doer hath good teeth and shiny hair.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMan, what<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

If thy leader hath the right tone of voice, and a goodly posture, and if he be fair of feature, than men shall march to his tune, even unto the grave.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re saying Steve and Jessica did it just because Ryan did? That\u2019s stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

Permit me to refine my disputation, that it might meet the lofty standards of thy scholarship. <\/strong>He sounded real sarcastic there. I say not that they did it because young goodman Ryan did. Yet I dare suggest that, had he not led them, they would live still.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, that doesn\u2019t make any sense.\u201d Though of course, it didn\u2019t make any sense that three otherwise successful kids would all decide to top themselves.<\/p>\n

Melancholy Ryan was a leader, and once he took to hand his fell deed, others look\u00e9d upon permission to think their fell thoughts. How many are tempted, knowing that those they envi\u00e9d were, themselves, at the utmost point of dejection?<\/strong><\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

Malagdun was right. I still think he\u2019s stupid about a lot of stuff, but I guess it makes sense that he\u2019d be on the ball about human weakness.<\/p>\n

In psych class, we had to do presentations, and Anitra Vyassarian did one about suicide epidemics. She\u2019d read about them in some Malcolm Gladwell book, said that if one popular guy kills himself, others are likely to follow along \u2014 just like if one popular guy puts his hat on backwards, or starts listening to Maroon 5, people go along with that.<\/em><\/p>\n

People were mean<\/em> to Anitra, too! Everyone acted like she\u2019d taken a huge dump on the graves of Ryan, Jessica and Steve, just for trying to explain. It wasn\u2019t the guys so much as the girls, y\u2019know? All that snide catty lunchroom stuff that would go over a dude\u2019s head. I mean, for all I know they\u2019re picking on me<\/em> like that all the time and I\u2019ve just never caught on. But a smart kid like Anitra\u2026 I saw her run to the bathroom crying after getting worked over by Lindsay Shaw, which is messed up because I know for a fact Lindsay<\/em> picked on Jessica like Jessica was a scab on her pimple.<\/p>\n

And it turned out that the guy in the Affliction shirt was named Rusty Stobel. Father of two. No one else died from the boat thing, but the lady in the bathroom had second-degree burns, as did four people who were standing next to Rusty when I did him. Five people sustained minor injuries trying to get through the exits and one guy had a cardiac infarction.<\/p>\n

Malagdun was happy as puppy with a chew toy.<\/p>\n

What brave exploit awaits us next, boon companion and comrade-in-arms?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI thought we could lay low for a while,\u201d I muttered at the steering wheel.<\/p>\n

Hm, it is misfortunate indeed that thy nom-de-guerre<\/em> of \u2018Bloodskull\u2019 has become so fervid an object of inquiry by the gendarmerie.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes I don\u2019t even know what language you\u2019re speaking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2019Tis nam\u00e9d \u2018English.\u2019 <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNot any English I ever learned.\u201d<\/p>\n

Indeed.<\/strong> He thought it real snotty, as if he\u2019d just won an argument and sounded good doing it.<\/p>\n

I kept my mouth shut, hoping he was done talking.<\/p>\n

A thought occurs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure you don\u2019t mean \u2018occur\u00e9s\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

The vanity of thine age is such that one name, one path to adoration, is insufficient. Yes?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Consider the inaptly nam\u00e9d \u2018Madonna\u2019 who hath transform\u00e9d herself from pop-spewing child-harlot to strident environmental matriarch.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Malagdun, I don\u2019t follow Madonna.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then reflect thou upon the career of one Johnny Depp, whose \u201c21 Jump Street\u201d was the veriest piffle afore he sought more serious fare in \u201cWhat\u2019s Eating Gilbert Grape.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI had no idea you were so into modern culture.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had a life before thee.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201c…ohhhhkay, but what does this have to do with me? With you<\/em> and me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018Bloodskull\u2019 is the name given to us when thou don mine iniquitous armor. But were thee to discard it, and act instead with my native fire and grandeur\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNuh uh. No. Not happening. Nice try though.\u201d<\/p>\n

What source can there be for thy resistance? Surely thou beareth no grudge from my jest amidst the ivi\u00e9d halls of that academy?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYour \u2018jest\u2019 did $4 million dollars worth of damage.\u201d<\/p>\n

The love of money is the root of all evil.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou just want me to have to ask you. You think I don\u2019t know who controls those<\/em> powers? You want me to be on the hook to you whenever I want to do super stuff, which I don\u2019t even like anymore<\/em>, and you\u2019ll probably switch them off in the middle of\u2026 everything. For the lulz<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

More wounding than the blades of angels are unkind words from a friend.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I said nothing. I was hoping he was done, that he was gone again. Dormant.<\/p>\n

This time, if \u2019tis thy wish, we could\u2026 be a \u2018good guy.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI call shenanigans. You don\u2019t have it in you to be anything good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Remember, \u2019tis thee who sayeth so. I try to chart a middle way, yet \u2019tis thee who speaketh \u2018nay.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

The year was turning really dark. Not just the middle of winter with the snowfall and days when the sky looked like wet white cardboard. The whole school was crummy. The clowns still made jokes, but they were either half-assed or just mean. The teams were all sucking. The glee club shut down.<\/p>\n

The only people thriving were the bullies, and even they\u2026 I don\u2019t know. It had this element of desperation? I mean, it was always mean<\/em>, but before the suicides, it seemed like they were partially enjoying themselves, and that they got off on the attention from the other kids. But that winter, it got private and nasty<\/em>. The thing Ortega\u2019s guys did to Clark Harris when they got him in the bio lab\u2026 I mean, Ortega got arrested and went to juvie, and no one said he didn\u2019t deserve it. Clark got taken out of school and no one ever heard anything from him again.<\/p>\n

Things were rough between me and D\u2019Nice too. Malagdun was being a real pest, so I needed a lot of \u2018alone time\u2019 to talk to him and, at least once a week, a chance to do something wrong. (I tore apart an ATM with his super-strength and giant size, but he only let me do that once. Said I was getting greedy and lazy and that he was more interested in bloodlust, like with Ryan Stobel. Man, I got so sick of hearing that name.)<\/p>\n

I finally got some peace and quiet when I tracked down Koestler and Johnstone, the jerks who backed up Ortega and got off with slaps on the wrist because no one could prove it was them in the lab. I kept my bones in my body for that one, just put on the muck and beat them down with a ball bat, first Koestler when he was out walking his big stupid dog (which took one bite of the slime-armor, then threw up and ran off) and then Johnstone in the back room of the fast food joint where he worked.<\/p>\n

D\u2019Nice confronted me after that. Wanted to know where I was the Wednesday night that the two of them got beaten up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was at home, I guess. What.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou weren\u2019t either,\u201d she said, squinting and poking me in the chest. \u201cWhen you didn\u2019t answer your cell I called your land line there and your mom said you went out to Denny\u2019s with Jeffrey.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell gee,<\/em> D\u2019Nice, I guess I went out to Denny\u2019s with Jeffrey then. Why ask questions when you already know the answers?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c…Except <\/em>I called Jeffrey too and he said he hadn\u2019t seen you.\u201d Another chest-poke. I used to find that a lot cuter.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I guess I wasn\u2019t<\/em> at Denny\u2019s. You think I was with someone else? Do you really think I could manage<\/em> that? That I\u2019m so cute<\/em> that I have girls dangling off me and can hide them one from another? Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t, I think you\u2019re lucky to have me and I ought to be enough. Maybe too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you think you\u2019re too much woman for me, D\u2019Nice, feel free to trade up. I haven\u2019t heard you complaining.\u201d Though, actually, I had.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve\u2026\u201d She pressed her lips together, making her lip stud jut up and out. \u201cJust tell me the truth where you were.\u201d<\/p>\n

I opened my mouth, and then closed it, and then said, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou keep secrets and we can\u2019t be together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t trust me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you just said\u2026 \u2018no.\u2019\u201d She glared back at me, and it felt exactly like the time an army officer got me right over the heart with .50 caliber anti-vehicular round. That same hit and halt. \u201cIf it was just this one time, but it\u2019s all<\/em> the time. Tell me what\u2019s going on!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Bloodskull. There. That\u2019s what\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

So she started swearing, just real slow and thick and monotonous, wouldn\u2019t meet my eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, you don\u2019t believe me? You think I couldn\u2019t do it, is that it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFive minutes ago you were saying you couldn\u2019t manage a girlfriend<\/em>,\u201d she said. \u201cYou \u2019spect me to believe you\u2019re a badass revolutionary?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBloodskull was never a revolutionary,<\/em>\u201d I shouted, and she flinched back. \u201cHe\u2019s a monster, a thief, a supervillain<\/em> and you know what? There\u2019s practically no skill overlap<\/em> between what he does and being a good boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re<\/em> Bloodskull.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome of the time, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMal\u2026\u201d Then I bit my lip and I thought. Real hard. Because I recognized that I did not want to show her the power because I loved her and wanted her to be a part of my life. And I wanted to shut her up and make her scared. I felt, quite strongly, that I was entitled to have things go my way.<\/p>\n

The last time I\u2019d felt that exact thing had been Rusty Stobel.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you drop me off at home,\u201d I said, turning to look out the window.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you just get your ass out my truck right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, okay,\u201d I said. \u201cPerfect end to a perfect evening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLying sonofabitch!\u201d she yelled, and peeled out into the snow.<\/p>\n

I called Jeffrey for a ride. He was real cool about it.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

The next day I found out Koestler had killed himself with carbon monoxide, and that was it.<\/p>\n

I heard the news in the lunchroom, which is where all the heavy gossip gets confirmed\u2014first draft is texts from study hall and the drivers\u2019 ed classrooms, but people talk face to face in order to gauge what\u2019s real and what\u2019s a spoof. But honestly, I didn\u2019t even care if anyone was lying or not. Johnstone looked pretty shook up and sincere, but it was kind of hard to tell past the two black eyes. (Yeah, I plead guilty. It\u2019s not that hard to beat someone up when you have a ball bat and are invulnerable. In fact, the hard part is not letting it go too far, especially with Malagdun\u2026 yeah, well, anyway.)<\/p>\n

I ducked out and went to the dark spot under the steps with the broken security camera and put on the slime. Then Bloodskull came out into the cafeteria for what wound up being his final appearance.<\/p>\n

Our school mascot is the Eagles, just like every other jerkwater public school, and there was this big so-so mural opposite the food line. (The colors were okay, but I always thought the proportions of the feathers were a little off.) I hit it with the burning bone, right over the cheerleaders\u2019 table, then waited for the screaming to die down and for the stampede to the doors. Another burn-bolt to the exit sign stopped that rush.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen to me!\u201d <\/em>I screamed.<\/p>\n

God help me, they all did. They turned, and were quiet, and stared, except a few were sobbing or hiding their faces.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t think of a thing to say.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, Malagdun had some suggestions, which was where \u201cBloodskull the Soul-Catcher craves your innocent blood!<\/em>\u201d came from, and once that started the ball rolling, there wasn\u2019t really anything to do but ham it up.<\/p>\n

\u201cPuny, pitiful, punif\u2026 you bitches!\u201d I roared. \u201cYou think your lives are so sad<\/em> that you have to go kill yourselves? Huh? Well you\u2019re just doing exactly what I want<\/em>! Bloodskull has warped your minds, Bloodskull has inhabited your hearts, Bloodskull is playing you like your daddy\u2019s old 8-tracks!<\/em> Yeah! The suicide machine is on, punks, blasting out its vibes 24-7 and dragging you down to hell, with me<\/em>! I couldn\u2019t keep silent any more because it\u2019s all too hilarious<\/em>, watching you do my job for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

A few guys from the soccer team were creeping towards a hallway, so I sent a fire-face arcing over their heads to let them know I\u2019d spotted them. \u201cListen up, I could Kentucky-fry the whole soggy lot of you right now<\/em> and that would be\u2026 okay I guess, but I\u2019m getting off on watching you sad sorry chumps kill yourselves. That\u2019s right! It gets me all stiffied up! So who\u2019s gonna be next, huh? You?<\/em>\u201d I barked that in the face of Lindsay Shaw\u2019s little lieutenant, Marcy Brant, the one who kept the slam books and made sure to laugh at all of Lindsay\u2019s jokes. She screamed and it was all I could do not to backhand her.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight. I\u2019ma count to three and when I do, you walk out them doors, hear me? Walk don\u2019t run.<\/em> You run, I will end<\/em> you, understand? Or do y\u2019all need a demonstration? No? Aight then. One. Two.\u201d<\/p>\n

I blew out a bank of fluorescents, prompting screams and leaps.<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t said it yet!<\/em>\u201d I was blowing the lights that were closest to me, the ones without so many people under them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree!<\/em>\u201d A couple more light blasts, and then I dove under a table, shedding the armor as I did. I wasn\u2019t the only one scrabbling around on the floor, or cowering, or passed out. I heard the sirens outside, but just acted like I\u2019d been there the whole time. Which, I guess, I had.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

That night, D\u2019Nice called.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeard Bloodskull trashed up your school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c…yup,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c…mm hm. Yeah, fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a long pause. My mouth felt totally dry.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeard he took responsibility for all those teens who died there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYuh. Yes. I mean, that happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re not still claiming you\u2019re him, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was dumb,\u201d I said, voice rasping. \u201cI don\u2019t know why I even said that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another pause. I could hear her breathing.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you want to go out Friday?\u201d I asked. \u201cGo and\u2026 do something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re on a break,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe could\u2026 unbreak it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah.\u201d She didn\u2019t even pause to think it over. Didn\u2019t sound regretful.<\/p>\n

\u201c…okay then. I guess this is goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

So that Friday I went out with Malagdun, fifteen feet tall, burning. Beat up a crack house. Had to drive, like, an hour to get to one too. Called myself \u201cMister Vigil\u201d and said a new era of justice had come, blah blah. I only killed the guys who shot at me.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

It was two whole years later, when I\u2019d been doing \u2018superheroic\u2019 stuff for a while, that I found out Ryan Wouk had been Captain Stars.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We are proud to present “Soul-Catcher in the Rye,” a short story for Better Angels, as our ‘thank you’ to supporters of<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[144],"tags":[11],"class_list":["post-1262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-better-angels","tag-greg-stolze"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/Better-Angels-demon.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1wrNI-km","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1262"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1698,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1262\/revisions\/1698"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1263"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arcdream.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}